Painful Memories
by BR33-Ichigo
Summary: She wittnessed his death and the painful memories she had with him have ruined her. She finally cracks. She's finally free. Warning: Gore, Lemon and Emo-ness. Amuto One-shot.


**Okay, a new fanfiction! :DD I've been DYING to write this fic for so long now. xDD Though, I have yet to make my sequel to "Just a Game or Love?" But I will eventually, I've started part of it. xD; Uhm, I may not be able to update any of my fics quickly, though. Because I have something wrong with my spleen and kidney and have to get it checked out with a ultra sound soon. Blah, blah. ; So, just so you know I'm alive, here's another fic. xD I hope you enjoy! :DD**

**  
Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara!, Peach-Pit does.**

**WARNINGS: Lemon, **_**Gore**_** and… Emoing. xD;**

**Amu's POV**

I sat there on my bed clutching my knees against my chest. All memories of him slowly crept into my mind only causing more pain.

Loosing the one you love and still having the memories of them is truly painful. It's one of the most dreadful emotions to feel. It makes you loose all your will.

_"Ah!" I screeched feeling his hot breath on my ear._

Ikuto smirked, noticing the red tinge on my pale face. I gave him another one of my tempers as I usually did when he teased me.

"GAH! Why do you always do this to me!?!"

His simple reply was, "It's fun, you should try it some time." He laughed. He thought he was funny, but what he didn't know was the idea he gave me.

I laughed and he gave me a questioning look.

"Close your eyes," I said.

He obeyed and I got off of the bed the two of us were sitting on and walked to the other side of the bed and crawled seductively on it and put my hands on his shoulders for support. I moved his hair gently with the tip of my finger and nipped at his ear.

To my surprise his action was much more revolting then I thought it would be. He threw his head back to meet my shoulder and moaned. Or was it a purr? I couldn't decipher it.

In return he pulled away and turned his direction toward me and moved my hair from my shoulder to behind me and nipped at my neck. He chuckled at the noises I was giving him. Soon his tongue lubricated that one spot on my neck. He gently sucked.

"Uhh..!" I struggled at keeping myself together. I felt a pulse grow between my legs. "I-Ikuto.."

I grasped at his shirt, begging for more pleasure.

I pushed him away, "We shouldn't be doing this."

"You know you want to," he smirked.

I turned away innocently. I was unsure. But eventually he became his rebellious self and took action. He toyed with the straps on my shirt and pulled them down. I bit my lip at his actions.

He pinned me gently against the bed, he stared at my flushed self before him. He played with the hem of my shirt. Eventually he pulled the piece of clothing off revealing my bra.

I chose the wrong day to wear a laced bra because he immediately noticed my erect nipples and played with both.

While twiddling the two buds beneath my lace bra our position was sort of.. Kinky. Our position was his certain 'area' was right atop mine, he was basically sitting on me. It some-what amused me, but mainly aroused me. What's more arousing, I could feel him hardening against me. The more he did, he would grunt and I would feel the need to moan.

I took this as a chance and lifted my hips up and meet his causing a painfully erotic friction for him, while it simply aroused me more.

"Don't... Tease." He panted through hot breaths against my shoulder.

After hearing this, I gave no remorse. I slammed my hips up against his over and over and he returned the gesture frantically.

I noticed his eyes slightly open and look directly at my bouncing breasts. I blushed and replied with a, "Like what you see?"

Neither of us stopped thrusting against one another. I could feel my lower half grow wetter with each thrust.

Eventually I calmed down and stopped, but he didn't. Instead he smothered his covered erection against me, grunting.

"A-Amu," his voice came raspy.

I eventually cautioned him to stop. He calmed down for a second to catch his breath. While he lay atop me with his head on my shoulder, I nipped and sucked his ear.

When he caught his breath after a few minutes he sat upward and was about to un-button and un-zip his pants. I quickly reached for his hands and stopped him. I flipped us around and was atop of him. Once I finished un-buttoning his pants, I slowly pulled the zipper down and he groaned.

I pulled off his pants and then along with his boxers, the size of his erection had me completely surprised.

"Oh gosh," I said without thinking.

He smirked. And flipped us again. He finished stripping himself of anything left and then he went onto stripping me.

He gazed at the site of me as if he were impressed.

After a few minuets he finally decided to put a finger in my entrance and move it around searching for my sweet spot while I squirmed in disagreement.

Eventually he found it and I nearly screamed when it was hit. He fingered me repeatedly enjoying the orgasmic noises I gave him.

He stopped and he put in another finger. It stung, but I eventually adjusted to it. Then went in another finger and he spread them and I waited for the pain to stop. I nodded when ready and he readied himself for entrance.

Once he slipped in it felt a bit more painful then before but I eventually got used to it. And when I warned him I was adjusted his own size he began to re-search for my sweet spot and thrusted in and out of me.

I was filled with pleasure and since we were alone in the house, I let my whimpers and moans escape.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and together him and I created a rhythm. Soon after, we flipped again and I was on top. He stared up at me with a glazed look. Again, I noticed where his gaze was looking, at my once again bouncing breasts.

Eventually we both hit our orgasms and we shouted and screamed at the absolute pleasure.

He flipped us again and I felt the need between my legs pulse even more.

"H-harder! A-aah," I screamed and moaned. "I-Iku.. Ikuto!!"

We seemed to be in a contest: who ever released first had lost.

I was strong and felt that I was going to win but alas I knew that Ikuto was more skilled with this.

I believed we were over our limit with power to continue on at all eventually, I just gave up and released and he still wasn't done even after that. He thrusted in and out of me a few more times and finally released his seed entirely out in me.

"Iku..Ikuto.." I panted.

"Amu," he whispered in my ear and smirked. I knew what he was thinking. After a while of catching his breath, I noticed cat-ears and a tail appear on him and I noticed he was getting hard again. "Ready for round two?"

I grinned.

Our first time was precious to me, I was thinking in the past how I'd never forget it. But now... I wish I could so that I wouldn't feel as much pain as I do now. I could even still remember when he finally proposed. He still didn't have the ring, but he still proposed.

_"Amu, will you marry me?" He was upon one knee on the ground before me._

"I-Ikuto..?" I spoke his name in question, with a small blush on my face.

"Amu, will you?"

".. Y-yes! Of.. Of course!" I squealed in happiness. I clung to him once he returned to his feet.

He hugged me in return. "Amu, I'll love you from now until forever. Never forget that…"

He never wanted for me to forget his love, but I want to… Why would I want to remember someone gone and lost when it has to be so _painful_?

I saw the raindrops fall from the sky. I felt the tears fall from my eyes and down my cheeks.

I buried my head in my arms and cried out in emotional pain. I couldn't take it, being without him... "Ikuto..."

Another tear slid, "_Why...?_" I thought.

I could still remember the smile on his face he had as he was brutally murdered. Yes, he was murdered… And I was a witness. He was smiling because he was my sacrifice. Because of him I was here.

But if he weren't here, I wouldn't want to be here either.

_The first night at our new apartment Yoru, Ran, Miki and Suu had all heard a noise and told us they were going to check on the noise._

When they returned they exclaimed that there was an intruder.

Ikuto forced me into the closet. But I refused, I wanted to know what will happen to him.

He assured me, "Don't worry. I'll protect you," and smiled at me.

While we fought over our protection we heard a few crashes. And I gave in and got into the closet while he closed it slightly.

"But wait.. Don't close the closet door all the way, I'm... I'm scared of the dark." I said, embarrassed.

He didn't completely close it and smiled gently at me. "Promise me you won't leave the closet?"

I nodded. When a promise was made between us, it couldn't be broken or it proves we don't trust one another. It's corny, but true.

"Don't worry. I'll protect you, you can trust me. I'll.. Protect you, and I'll be okay, I promise."

"Where are you!?! I know you're here!" We didn't recognize the voice.

I saw Ikuto going through one of his drawers and took out a knife. He waited quietly and patiently for the intruder to enter our room.

I could hear loud foot steps come down the hallway.

_**Boom**__. __**Boom**__. __**Boom**__. __**Boom**__._

I felt my heart racing.

Then finally our bedroom door was kicked open and a slightly over-weight man staggered in with a machete in hand.

He tackled Ikuto to the ground and knocked the knife out of Ikuto's hand. I saw Ikuto's eyes fill with horror, but he remained to have the same smile on his face that he recently gave me.

The man began with slightly skinning him, but Ikuto remained calm. He stabbed him frequently in the arms, too.

"How could you?!!" The ferocious man screamed aloud..

Blood was spurting everywhere and Ikuto began to look pale and lifeless but he was still alive, none-the-less. But due to how much blood he shed, he was _**going**__ to die._

I couldn't stop myself from crying. "No.." I whispered, but with all the screaming the man was doing, he couldn't hear me. He never knew I was there.

Finally, he put a slice from his ribs to his abdomen and ripped open the flesh, pulling apart everything, eventually his intestines and everything was out on the floor. It was disgusting.

There was no doubt now. Ikuto was dead...

Soon after the man left, I busted out of the closet and to Ikuto. No, Ikuto's corpse and I pulled his bloody and lifeless corpse into an embrace.

"Ikuto! No!! Why!?! You said you'd be okay, you lied!!" I sobbed and screamed at the top of my lungs. He broke his promise, but I never broke mine.

I regretted not breaking my promise. If I did, he'd probably still be alive today.. With me. I regret everything. I regret meeting him, loosing my virginity with him, marrying him.

I looked down at my ring. I remember the day they discovered the victim, they let him off easily, too. Two years of prison.

His situation was that he was completely drunk and the person who lived there before us was a rapist who killed his missing daughter. But even for that, I never forgave him.

For what he did to Ikuto, I would've executed him. But everyone just debated against it.

I grunted in frustration and screamed while clasping my hands over my ears.

"GIVE HIM BACK TO ME!!"

I sobbed and sniffled. I finally stood up and went toward the window, opening it. I looked at the distance from where I was to the ground.

5 story building. I began to sit on the edge of the window sill and soon after I lost my balance and fell to my death.

I didn't scream. I felt my tears dry and I smiled.

"Ikuto.. I'm coming."

Once hitting the ground, the impact hurt like hell, but I felt that I couldn't gain the breath I lost.

I could feel a liquid surrounding me, probably blood. But whether I was in pain or not, I died the same way Ikuto did - with a smile on my features.

_FIN_

**Another Amuto Depressing One-Shot! :O Oh-em-gee. xD I hope you enjoyed it! I enjoyed making it and I think I did fairly well. ^^ Please R&R. :DD**


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